Sexually active women are having up to four times less orgasms on average than sexually active men, according to new research from sexual wellbeing brand Durex, with just 5% of women likely to say they always orgasm during a sexual encounter with another person, versus 20% men.
This gap grows even further when it comes to penetrative sex alone, with 4 in ten (40%) sexually active women versus around one in 10 men (12%) saying they never or very rarely achieve orgasm through this activity alone**.
Women surveyed claimed to feel disappointed (22%) and frustrated (20%) when they don’t reach orgasm during a sexual encounter with a partner. While just over one in 10 (11%) say they feel nothing as they’ve grown used to it.
In light of its research findings, Durex is launching a new campaign for ‘orgasm equity’, teaming up with sex expert Alix Fox to provide tips and advice to help the nation achieve some more equity in the bedroom, and reach orgasm more frequently.
Alix comments: “Durex’s research underlines the fact that women are frequently experiencing less pleasure and less satisfaction than men during partnered sexual encounters – so it’s time to concentrate on giving them the extra stimulation, time, and focus on their needs and desires that can help make the action in the bedroom more fairly balanced. The findings illustrate how women can sometimes be on the losing side when it comes to feeling fulfilled during sex, and how gutting it can be when play is stopped before they’ve had chance to savour their moment of climax. Let’s kick off conversations about how to help make things better!”
Faking it
Elsewhere in the research, it was revealed that almost half (43%) of sexually active women in the UK have at some point faked an orgasm, compared to just under a third (32%) of men. While nearly one in 10 (8%) sexually active women say they fake an orgasm around half the time they have a sexual encounter with another person.
Of the women that have faked an orgasm, the main reason given, cited by 50% of them, was to avoid making their partner feel bad or hurt their feelings. While 40% claimed they did it to bring a sexual encounter to an end.
Warming up
When it comes to mutual ground in the bedroom, foreplay is key to both sexes in achieving orgasm. Nearly a quarter (24%) of sexually active women and a fifth (19%) of sexually active men claim it is ‘essential’, and around a third of men (30%) and women (29%) say it is very important.
However, twice as many sexually active men (8%) as women (4%) say foreplay is not important in helping them achieve orgasm.
Differing approaches
When it comes to varying needs in the bedroom between men and women, experimentation with sex toys is a point of difference. Nearly a fifth (19%) of women cite this as one of the ways they’re most likely to orgasm, versus just 6% of men.
Meanwhile, men say they are more inclined to prefer visual stimulation, such as photos or porn – over one in eight (13%) men say it’s one of the most likely ways for them to achieve orgasm, versus just 2% of women.
Speaking up
Being comfortable to be open and honest on sexual preferences is an area that can be a struggle. One in five (20%) sexually active women and almost a quarter (23%) of sexually active men say they are uncomfortable talking to their partner about what they like and need to achieve an orgasm. A further 6% of women and 4% of men saying they would never talk about it.
Marcella Christophersen, senior brand manager for Durex, comments: “Durex wants to help people unleash the freedom to be their true sexual selves and we hope by shining a light on the issue will start a conversation and help close the gap.”
Top tips from Alix:
- Warm up properly! Focus on foreplay, and don’t make hurrying towards penetration your sole goal.
- Technology can make the game fairer: toys can increase pleasure.
- Be the ‘Hand of God’: ask, listen and learn how your partner loves to be touched.
- Communicate with your team: develop ways to comfortably, constructively talk about sex together, and make it a regular habit, since moods, needs and desires can change over time.
- Extra time can be a good thing: it shouldn’t always automatically be ‘game over’ in bed when only one person has reached climax. Make sure you both get enough stimulation to be satisfied.
